Who would have thought

I'd have 3 topics to talk about in one night :P this may be easier than I thought! This time I want to bitch.

I am coming up on my 3 yr anniversary in my position at work. I dislike my job immensely, and the only light at the end of the tunnel is that someday I will either move up or move out. I have been eyeing a position for the past few years, but circumstance has always prevented me from applying - and I finally did.. I am excited to hear back and hopefully I will get interviewed for the job.

The bad news, is that at precisely the same time Jack has applied for a promotion as well. He would be making more, and I have been encouraging him to try to move up in the company. The nature of his potential new position makes it almost impossible for us to get any flexibility out of our operations department for schedueling. This means that if he gets it, I don't take the job I have applied for (assuming it was offered) and stay where I am if possible, or quit if our schedules don't mesh. I am all for him advancing, but I am starting to feel very resentful that I am left behind without much choice. In the past when I have wanted to apply, there have always been reasons - Jack's reasons - why I shouldn't. I have complied for the good of the family, and for his benefit. The longer this goes on though, and the more I see that I am doing all of the giving and there is no take. When is it my turn? When do I start to matter here? Ugh. I want to yell and scream about it - but I did encourage him in the first place, and he finally worked up the confidence to apply. I would end up feeling like a jerk.

It is entirely possible that would *could* both have working shifts with these jobs, but they are looking for flexibilty and how do I tell them I am flexible when that is a total lie, and my availability depends completely on whether or not Jack is working?

In feel like job-wise, I will always be expected to make sacrifices so that Jack can get to where he wants to be. I am not sure that I can be that person.