the license said you had to stick around until I was dead

...But if you're tired of looking at my face, I guess I already am.

I hate knowing something and just waiting for it to happen. Maybe I am jumping the gun, but there are certain things that can only be said when the feeling is gone. Someone who honestly loves and respects you just doesn't go there.

I don't know what I should be thinking and feeling right now, but I am sort of numb.

I used to sit and fantasize about lost loves when I was alone or doubting my relationship with Ken. I always came back to Jack. He has always been an incredibly gentle, laid back person and I had never known him to treat anyone with disrespect. He has changed so much, and I have seen sides of him that I never thought I would.

I want to just close my eyes and wish it away...