Looking a little green

Tonight was a bad night. I have been stressed about a lot of different things lately, work being one of them, my car being another. The fact that Paige's (great) grandpa barely knows who we are, and doesn't know Jack or Tobey at all anymore. He isn't getting better, they don't have high hopes that he will.

All week I have been craving cigarettes. I haven't smoked in 4 years, and have been through so many hard times without them, but this week I wanted some. I put it off for days and days, because I know better. Not tonight. I picked up a pack of smokes, and lit up for the first time since Jack and I became a couple. I seriously made myself ill. I was dizzy and nauseous and that damn smell followed me around all night. I quickly decided 1) that smoking is not the release that it once was and 2) I was going to barf on my shoes. I promptly gave away the pack to the first willing smoker that came along. At least he promised coffee on him in exchange. I went ofter work and bought a litre of Ben and Jerry's half baked, and was much happier drowning my sorrows in that.