Just a little bit of a coward.

I am leaving on a trip in a week, just me and the kids, travelling to New York. I am not insane enough to try to take my car into NYC, but this alone is causing all sorts of stress. I don't want to take the train alone with them. I don't want to worry about where 3 people's supplies for 3 days will go once we get there. I don't want to worry about how I am going to get to where Ineed to go from the train station once we arrive there, in a place I have never been and no nothing about.

I need a travel buddy, and I hope I can get one. Once 'there' I will be accompanied by some fabulous ladies and little friends for Tobey. But the getting there is freaking me out. Not even the getting back so much, because I will know what to expect. I have never travelled alone, with or without kids. I have never travelled anywhere more than a few hours away on a day trip as an adult, period.

I couldn't imagine flying.

Perhaps I am a wimp, and should pull up my socks but god dammit I'm nervous. And I am terrified about keeping after two kids there. I think I can borrow a carrier while we are there (right Robyn *puppy dog eyes) but I want something to keep Paige close, maybe a child lease. As inhuman as it sounds, chancing losing her in the bustle is worse.

I am lucky the my girls are looking out for me so much already. you girls are awesome. get me through this trip, please lol I don't know how I'll survive it without an anxiety attack.